Know what you want
First of all, it may sound obvious, but you have to know what you want. Many people don't, and go through life feeling dissatisfied, but much more conscious of what they don't want than of what they actually want.
So now you are going to think about what you really do want, not just in a fuzzy dream-like manner, but in as concrete a way as possible. Ask yourself whether you are willing to accept all the consequences of having what you want. If you want a swimming pool, will you be willing to take care of it, and be vigilant to protect invited and non-invited visitors from the danger of drowning in it? If you want to be a pop singer, are you willing to practice for hours on end, go on grueling tours, sign hundreds of autographs with a smile no matter how tired you are?
Yes, everything has its up side and its down side. To eliminate the negative things in your life, you have to give up any hidden benefits – it could be nothing more than having the right to feel sorry for yourself – and to bring positive things into your life, you have to weigh the possible negative aspects, and say “I still want it.”
Next, you have to be clear about why you want it. Write down as many reasons as you can find as to how this will be of benefit to yourself and to those around you.
It's also important to make sure that this is your desire and not someone else's, or what you think others expect of you. Advertisers are masters at creating desires, and making us think that we can't be happy unless we have whatever they are promoting. And more than one graduate has woken up one morning with a diploma in their hands and the realization that they had been following a well-meaning parent's script instead of their own desires.
Sometimes our subconscious desires do not match our conscious ones. This is more difficult to discern, but if you consistently experience failure or feel blocked in areas where you feel that your desire to succeed is strong, there is a great chance that your subconscious mind has a different view of the matter. It may adhere to certain beliefs, perhaps left over from childhood, that you have consciously rejected, but that are still there under the surface. In that case, it may be necessary to get professional help or try a belief-changing method such as NLP before proceeding to the visualization. On the other hand, if you manage to persist in the visualization process in spite of a feeling of uneasiness or conflict, this process may help you to change those underlying beliefs and align them with your conscious desires.
Decide what you want to visualize first
You will most probably have a list of several or even many desires after completing the above step. If you are new to the visualization process, it would probably be better to start with something that is not too difficult or that does not take too long to attain. It's like physical exercise – you aren't going to start by running a marathon – you have to train for it.
I would also suggest that you choose just one thing and concentrate on it, or at least don't make your list too long; it will be more difficult to focus on several things.
Prepare the Details
Be, have and do
In our society, we tend to put a lot of emphasis on material things, and our desires are often directed at things that we want to have. And somehow we think that if we can just have “this thing”, then we will be able to do something else, and then that will prove that we are this or that.
But in fact, the reverse is closer to the truth. If we can see ourselves as being a certain way, then we can do whatever needs to be done in order to have the thing we desire.
So as you prepare your visualization session, write down what you desire to be first. What kind of person do you need to be for your desire to materialize? Do you want to have a best-selling book? Then you have to see yourself as being a writer. If you want your song to go to the top of the charts, then you have to see yourself as being a singer. Think of all the qualities involved in your desired situation, and write down, “I am organized, I am sensitive, I am shrewd, I am confident”, etc.
Then think of the things you are going to do. These activities will flow from the qualities of your being, and will feel much more attainable than if you start from the other end. Write these down too.
Now you can attend to the material aspect, and once again, thinking of what you will have at this point will be a natural outgrowth of what you are and do.
The word “visualization” refers to what we can see, and of course you want to have visual cues. Find pictures of what you want, or draw one yourself. Create a picture in your mind, and describe it in writing. Make it vivid, colorful, attractive and detailed. You can add to this picture during your visualization sessions, but this will serve as a basis. But don't forget the other senses. What will you hear when you attain what you desire? Perhaps words of praise, or the wind in the sails of your yacht? What pleasant smells are waiting for you? That new car smell of your shiny new car, the tropical plants in the countries you will be visiting on your cruise? What will you touch, or even taste? Write these down too.
Remember, you want to create vivid pictures related to being and doing as well as having. The being part may work better with auditory images, such as imagining yourself saying to someone “I am a writer”, or imagining someone saying to you “My goodness, how do you manage to be so organized?”
As mentioned above, it's important that your beliefs be consistent with your desires. In general, there shouldn't be a conflict of values – you want to be sure that you think that what you want is good, both for you and for those around you. So it would be well to write “I desire this for my good and the greater good of all concerned”, or whatever wording feels right to you.
You also need to believe that what you desire is actually attainable, at least theoretically, even though you don't yet see how it can come about for you. You will necessarily be stretching your belief limits, because you don't yet have the thing you desire, and you want to be careful not to stretch them too far, or they might snap in your face like a rubber band. This is why the choice of what you want to visualize is so important, especially when you are starting out. Each success will increase your confidence in the process, and you can gradually become more daring.
The highest level of belief is expectancy, that is, you just know that it will happen. It's easier said than done, especially at first. But just doing the process is an expression of your positive expectation. Don't waste time wondering whether you have the right degree of expectation, just imagine that you do. This is visualization, right? So visualize yourself expecting it to happen.
Emotion plays a crucial role in this process. If you really expected something wonderful to happen to you, you would naturally feel good about it. So if your visualization has no emotional content, your subconscious will say “Ho-hum”, and the Universe will say “Who are you trying to kid?” Well, they may not actually say that, but would you believe someone who told you about an extraordinary event in a monotone voice? Probably not.
So as you picture the desired result in your mind, as you convince yourself that this is going to happen, let the appropriate emotion come. It might be quiet contentment, or breathless excitement, or just loads of fun. This should be pretty spontaneous, and if you have a lot of trouble with this part, there may be something that needs adjusting in your above preparation. It could be a subconscious conflict, or perhaps your reasons for wanting it are not really very strong.
The emotion of gratitude ought to be present. Gratitude to whom, you may ask? First of all, to God or the Universe, or if you don't believe in them, then gratitude to your subconscious mind and to all those who helped you come this far on your path. Gratitude implies a sense of connection. You probably already have that. If you were some kind of rugged individualist, you probably wouldn't even be reading this ebook. If you do feel uneasy with the idea of gratitude, then you might have self-esteem issues and doubt whether you really deserve to receive what you desire. As long as this is present, one way or another you (or rather your subconscious mind) will manage to sabotage the process, until you change that belief.
The final emotion is a sense of serenity. This is an outflow of your expectation that positive results will come. How unfortunate for you if stomping your foot and demanding immediate results worked for you when you were a child! They won't work here. They are the contrary to confidence and a spirit of cooperation. You cannot bully the Universe, or your subconscious mind, for that matter.
Your mental state
Many people have found that being in a relaxed state is helpful, perhaps even essential for this process. You could use a relaxation technique, or a hypnosis script, or a binaural beat recording. All of these help the brain produce alpha waves. Choose your technique and prepare it.
The visualization process
All of that preparation does seem a bit long, but now that it's all ready, your daily visualizations will go smoothly.
1 – Relax
Use the method you have prepared. If you're using binaural beats, you can keep listening to them during the rest of the process.
2 – Visualize
Using the pictures, images, and written notes that you have gathered, imagine the thing that you desire as if it was already realized in the here and now, in the order of being, then doing, then having. Enjoy the positive feelings. Note your physical sensations related to your feelings. Remember that these positive feelings come from anticipation of something that is on its way to your reality, not just idle dreaming. The physical support of pictures and written notes will help keep you from getting distracted, but if you do find your attention wandering, just bring it back gently.
Do it for about ten to fifteen minutes once or twice a day. One ideal time is just after you wake up, because you are likely to be in an alpha state then. Another good time is just before you go to bed. Here too, the alpha state will be easier to attain. Moreover, you can reinforce the effect by instructing your subconscious mind to continue working on this question while you are sleeping.
3 – Let go
Yes, when you've finished your visualization, just let go of the whole thing and turn your attention to your daily activities. If you have a spirit of serenity, as discussed earlier, this will not be difficult.
4 – Take some kind of action
You can do this at any time of the day. Do something concrete related to your desire. Do an Internet search on the country you want to visit, clean out your clothes closet to make room for the new clothes you will be able to buy, start taking singing lessons to prepare for your singing career. You do not need to spend money at this time, and stretching your budget would be unreasonable and putting the cart before the horse. But doing something, even a symbolic gesture, will show that you mean business.
If you have negative thoughts at any time, shoo them out the door, as you would to a cat that was showing too much interest in the fish you're having for dinner. It's understandable to have negative thoughts, just as it's understandable that your cat will take advantage of a lack of vigilance on your part, but you're not going to let either of them get the upper hand.
However, if this process causes a great deal of anxiety, or if you find yourself forgetting to do it altogether, there is likely to be a subconscious conflict that has not been resolved, and you would do well to re-examine your beliefs, with outside help if necessary.