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Assertiveness: The Art of Getting Your Way Nicely



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“If we value independence, if we are disturbed by the growing conformity of knowledge, of values, of attitudes, which our present system induces, then we may wish to set up conditions of learning which make for uniqueness, for self-direction, and for self-initiated learning.” - Carl Rogers

Assertiveness is considered an important communication skill that relates to respect for personal rights and boundaries with the intention to establish healthy and lasting relationships. An assertive person speaks his own mind to influence others while being respectful of the personal boundaries of others. Likewise, he protects himself against those who would cross over his own line.

Assertiveness requires direct, open, and honest communication between people. This can be between you and an associate, a friend, or a spouse. This kind of open communication will make everyone feel better about themselves and each other. More importantly, it will help develop and maintain healthy relationships with friends, loved ones, and co-workers.

To develop and have healthy relationships, you need to develop communication skills, which includes being comfortable in expressing what you really need and want. This being a two-way process, you need to learn to listen to the wants and needs of others.

Up until recently, there were no seminars on how to become assertive. Most of the time, we depended on various personal or celebrity role models to lead us how to live our own lives. Well, it is no wonder that everyone is still searching for happiness, pursuing fulfillment, and going after unrealistic goals. No one has showed us how to live our lives the right way and some of our role models do not have any clue either. Like us, no one taught them.

They just relied on what they know on how to do things. Maya Angelou said, “You did what you knew how to do and when you knew better, you did better.”

Fortunately for us all, not everyone is wandering around oblivious and ignorant about what to do. At last, there is new information available to help everyone learn more and live better. No one wants to live a cookie cutter existence. We all want a life that is fulfilling, exciting, and satisfying. Are you tired of waking up and thinking, “Is this all there is?”

This book is for you. Now is the best time to get excited about your life! It is time to assert yourself and get what you want out of life. This is your life and not a dress rehearsal! It is time to learn new skills on how to do better. It is time to learn how to be more assertive.

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